You might wonder why it has been a while since I posted? Simply – LIFE! In all seriousness – there were days I would think about writing a post – and then Something would come up; there were nights when I would think I should write a post – and then I would sit on the couch watching Marvel movies with my kids. There were afternoons I would think of writing a post – and then I just wouldn’t do it. There were hours I would feel guilty for not posting – and then I stopped. I just stopped!
The point of the journey (whatever the journey) is not to create inadequacies or guilt – society does that for us all each day. AND once I thought about it that way – I was not worried about posting anything at all. Perhaps this is what I needed to really embrace the Thanksgiving Holiday; I needed to be thankful for the opportunities I had and not fretting for the “things” left undone.
Our house was full; our table was full; our fridge was empty……the older boys were home. It was WONDERFUL. Just to see them and to see the little boys’ reaction to having them home. True disclosure – there were moments that I was ready for them to head back to school (way before Sunday night); but, that is part of the adjustments we are working out – how to reign in their independence when they are back home😊 AND by the last day or so they were both “helping” (a little) without being asked. THEN – they were gone again and J6 has been moping since because “IT just isn’t right that people are missing from our family”.
Now the countdown is on…….3 nights until St. Nick comes to pick up Santa’s lists (please don’t judge – this works for us). 8 nights until J2 is home for break; 10 nights until J1 is home. 3 weeks until a little school break. 22 days until Christmas. 28 days until 2020……..it goes on and on. There is a count down for everything and for most of those things there is a “to do list” to accompany the dates.
I am tucking away my to do list – I know it is there – I know when I forget to breathe and take in the small moments that there are things to do – I know that subconsciously I am rearranging and adding to that list every day. BUT – I know that the things that need to get done – will; the things that don’t get done – really won’t matter (and sometimes won’t be noticed); AND that the moments I pause to just let myself enjoy what IS rather than focus on what could be – those moments are ALWAYS enough. The kind of enough that comes from quality and contentment and not from quantity. My heart is abundantly full; our house is more than full; and our family is FILLED with the SPIRIT.